Thursday, September 20, 2007

Smoking

I am fully aware that many types of smoke help the environment. Car emissions, coal power plants, and cow farts being a few of these.

But what about cigarette smoke?! I don't know!

I do hope that cigarette smoke is having its way with the pirate hooker we call mother earth.

Because if it is, I am the leading cause of "global warming". (If it actually exsisted)

Friday, September 14, 2007

Who likes to come home to a dark cold house?

NO ONE!

Absoutely no one.

Leave your lights on. All the time.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Definitions

Treehugger -
As defined by dictionary.com;
An environmentalist; esp one concerned with preserving forests.

As defined by Me;
An ignoramus. Too self absorbed to see the true consequences of their actions. Diluted. Bring those around them down with pro-earth banter even they know is not true.

SEE ABOVE

Helping The Environment At Work.

Here's an idea - offer to start a recycling program at your office.

I know, some people claim that recycling is GOOD for the environment. I call these people the mentally challenged. But follow along.

Personally collect everyone's recycling. Then take it into a field - preferrably near a water source. Cover it in oil, gasoline, or another accelerant and burn it.

Together we can make a difference.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

What the world needs?

Answer; more coal plants in China.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Carpooling

Here's an idea. Everyone stop carpooling. Who is this really helping anyway. Do you really want to be cramped up in a car, with someone you really don't like anyway, just to save a little gas? Do you really trust them enough to pick you up on time? So many problems. One solution. STOP IT.

Ride wherever you are going in the comfort and style of your own ride. Even better if your personal car is an 18 wheeler, or a school bus. Imagine all the room you will have to spread out.

We can all dream.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Let's start here...

Ok, first thing's first. I think Mother Earth needs a safe word. Just like anyone, I know that Mother Earth must have her limits.

For this reason, she and I have agreed that if this goes too far, she will simply say "styrafoam is my favorite", and we will ease up.

Remember that.

In The Beginning...




There is a lot of talk these days about how we need to do this, or do that, in order to "save our planet". I was motivated by all of this cry baby nonsense to teach the world the proper way to save our planet.


TOUGH LOVE.


Let's talk about it.


Some lessons are harder to learn than others. And let's be honest. Mother Earth is one stubborn old bitch. If she is going to learn how to take care of herself, we need to show her how serious we are.


Stay tuned for ideas on how to help her along her way.